Fight

The following quotes come from Lil Waynes "Get Over" song from Da Carter II album

"though it seems like they cheatn and we losin we survive if nothing they can never take the strive from struggling"

Lil Wayne

Lately i have noticed that i am only smiling while i am in the gym, and i couldnt help but wonder why this is so. Upon the adventure to the roots of this obsession, i relized the unnappearant(at that point), that i have an undying passion for becoming stronger. I have been in an ongoing struggle all my life, to start at the beggining i go back to my birth.

Born October 22, 1986(the best zodiac sign, libra, with the same number double digit birthday, adding to my extra balanced nature) i would live life to find out that i was the product of a one night stand. Now here comes the vague part, the part that is blurred into a barely coherrent smudge-my child hood.

I dont remember much about my child hood, i remember in clarity certain things and thats it, but vaguely the whole picture. Like i remember sitting on the steps at my moms old apartment with a friend sharing my froasted oatmel cookies and milk. Others such as the one of my uncle's girlfriend, or hype, taking a puddy toy i was playing with and making it where i would have to climb over her just to get it back(I was a little kid so of coarse i shied away from it). In frank thought, sexuality was introduced into my life at an early state. Lol, when i was little one of my other uncles use to call me "big dick domonick"(thats not how you spell my name, but u get the sound of how he said it). Proved detriomental in the long run so i guess that brief chuckle i just had has resided.

So i remember my childhood in episodes but i cant figure out what order they go in. I remember alot of small details that aren't really that great at all. Like i remember going to my fathers house as a child, because he stayed down the street from me, and when i went in and asked for him i remember a large dark figure(everything about that incident is dark) saying that i wasnt his child. then i went outside and sat on the curb, and after that the vague sets back in.

"Standing on stage in front of thousands dont amount to me not having my father, thats real talk i know alot of yall got but you need um way more when you gotta go without um, and i'm without um, but thats life yall, sometimes you gotta learn to swim with no life guard,i'm alright god, shit i'm still breathing, but lost hurt like bullets but i'm bout to start bleedin, through me down some comfort cause my heart need it"

So, i have had a big influence on my life by my family, but who hasnt. This post would take more time heart and persistence than i thought, so i am going to have to edit this something terrible.

"now smoke cush all day and pop pain killers, fuck who dont understand it this what the game did us, this what the streets showed us, this how the block made us"

For along time and till this day but not as much i drown some of my feelings with inebriation, but that only goes so far. I have come to terms with alot of things but somethings i cant reason with.

"straight patron out the bottle to the head now, we gettin red now, bitch my nigga dead, and all the things i never said i gotta say in now, i shouldve said it then now i gotta talk to clouds, now i gotta walk around brim down, tryin to find my way to the next day, escape"

The lost of a dear family member has taken its toll on all of my fam. she had to be one of the most if not the most vibrant person in our fam. We love you cousin. Then i lost a dear friend in a car accident, not so much as an accident as some crazy bitch purposely hitting her and my little brother as they walked from church(because they got into a arguement with her daughter). My brother survived with a broken leg, but my friend was put on life support then taken off, Jessica Duncan i love you and i still think about you. That proves detrimental to the heart to......on second thought i am going to have to finish this post some other time.