A TEST I DID, HOPE IT GIVES INSIGHT

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 40% Stability 63% Orderliness 56% Accommodation 63% Interdependence 63% Intellectual 76% Mystical 50% Artistic 70% Religious 90% Hedonism 43% Materialism 50% Narcissism 43% Adventurousness 50% Work ethic 43% Self absorbed 56% Conflict seeking 50% Need to dominate 50% Romantic 83% Avoidant 10% Anti-authority 30% Wealth 50% Dependency 23% Change averse 30% Cautiousness 76% Individuality 56% Sexuality 83% Peter pan complex 43% Physical security 43% Physical Fitness 57% Histrionic 30% Paranoia 70% Vanity 56% Hypersensitivity 56% Female cliche 30%

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A WISH THAT A TEAR WILL UNITE

Find the answer to the riddle and once you have give it deep thought, and maybe the tear that i shed today wouldnt have been in vain.

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MY SCARS REMIND ME MY PAST IS REAL

Two cratered hands apply pressure directly to my chest
Nails grip and tear through flesh, blood begins to pour, and I begin a new quest
I spread open my flesh, vessels, muscle, veins, and bones
Bearing a grimacing face, tearful eyes, with gritted teeth breaking like brittle stone
Blood engulfs fingers, and pain engulfs flesh as I create a new wound
I tear my heart open just to let it bleed
My weakness is that I have self-attributing needs
The pain is invisible but I can’t hide the scars
Remnants of a past filled with self crusading wars
So it is with this act that I reopen a tomb
I tare my heart open because my past is tall
With countless stains I must uninstall
I lose self identity between the I and the Me
But I’ll always return to a fruitful tree




Copyright © 2006 Domonique Murdock

A short

The softest whisper carried the loudest cry
The unpierced lips always asked why
The most humble spirit, boasted the strongest heart
The messiest ka has the most perfect start
Intangible truths hold the most perceptive lies
I'll accept this new life as my old one dies
The smallest footsteps have trekked thousands of miles
The iron casted heart still has the ability to smile
Perception of self will change with era
As the truths of life become even scarier
Perception of self will change with era
And the truths of life will become even scarier
The soul of one will move the world
While even the most intense values of the one are still with held



Copyright © 2006 Domonique Murdock

Something I had to do for something else

This is something i had to do for class, i may or may not have any importance

In defining who I am as the person I have come to embody, the most important factor in my indenity wheel is journey. I feel that is through journey that I have come to essence. My perception of my inception is not as glossed as I would have liked it to be but I don't think I would change it, I feel that a change would result in a lose of character and wisdom. Through this channel I can incorporate all of the residual factors on my idenity wheel, I am the culmination of a fulmination. I use the term embody for a specific reason, I have always felt that I did not entirely develope into the person I am, just that I chose to accept the person that was already there. For a long time even back when I was younger I have told myself that my problem was never if I understand a situation, but if I chose to accept it. I can't seem to think that there is an important factor to me, its hard to choose one thing over the next. With journey I can incorporate my passion, honor, wisdom, malice, weakness, power, and everything else that makes my indenity mine. A leading spoke in the run for importancy on my indenity wheel would have to be choice, I feel this is the most powerful asset I have. This might sound corny, but my favorite movie is the matrix, no not for all the animation and graphics, but for the plight of the protagonist. This is also my favorite movie because of the antagonist Mr. Smith, not only is his rhetoric great, but he inspires and creates the person that the protagonist becomes. My favorite dialog from the movie is "Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why, why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom, or truth, perhaps peace, could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it Mr. Anderson, you must know it by now. You can't win, it's pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why do you persist?", it is at the moment that Neo stands up and utters the most beautiful words I have ever heard, "because I choose to". I am very interested in the aspects of life and human nature all together so I cant equate my assertion of importancy to one factor, this I must reiterate, but I value all the contributing factors that helped create who I am. The least important factor on my indenity wheel would have to be age because I feel that I live my life through self-improvement and not years. Although I am going on 20 now, I have always thought the same way, atleast when it comes down to important matters. One of my biggest principles is honor, I feel that I shouldn't do anything thing unless I can find honor it. Don't get me wrong I am human, I am by no means perfect, but I strive for a level of good character. My age has never really mattered to me, I have always believed that the concepts and theories that I have drawn while living meant more to me than age. "When ever you are unsure of what to do in life do the hardest thing to do, because nine times out of ten it will be the best thing for you to do", such quotes as these is what I live my life by-I know a lot more too. So my idenity is the culmination of a long trail of tribulations past and ones to come.

It Brews Inside Me

I deleted this whole post in hope that just this pic will let you know how I feel

A Voyage to Jordan

I reached down within, trying to grasp an object deeply placed
Then pulled pulled out a bloody clenched fist with an object that had been erased
Smeared, askew, and molted but this thing was so dear
It was my inner child, curled up and manned by fears
Shivering and crying alone and apart
I had to restore myself to beauty and this was the start
So i made my journey, one that stretch as long as time could bare
But I had to travel to this place, I needed what was there
So i reached it, exhausted, and barely able to stand
But i was amazed that the river of Jordan even purified the land
With slow steps i walked into the waters shivering with a face full of tears
I looked down and kissed my object as i was submerged by the waters crossing over onto a new frontier
But somewhere somehow something went wrong
I dont quite recall what happened but we stayed under too long
The black set in and the blue became cold
The air left my lungs, a situation i know longer controlled
That day we both died, it was for us whom deaths bell tolls



I wanted to end this one on a lighter note but in the mist of it all i couldn't do it. Have u ever had one of those feelings like some set a ton on your chest? Well thats what happened, but then i thought, if there is one nice place i could lie down for eternal rest the river of Jordan would be it. Thanks for reading, you all have all my concern and love. Now get outta here.


MY BABY



Copyright © 2006 Domonique Murdock

An Extraction of Beauty

As the tears of heaven fall down gently with grace
I'll look up smiling reborn as each droplet hits my face

We never really leave beauty with out taking something for our selves, so this is inpart due to a dear friend's blog.

1. What is your favorite word?
Choice, the most powerful asset i have

2. What is your least favorite word?
Alone, my biggest fear

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Life, and the prestine beings that God made from Adam

4. What turns you off?
Negativity, nonrealization of self beauty

5. What's your favorite curse word?
Bitch, note-none of my curse words are ever used at women oustide of family that i can joke with

6. What sound or noise do you love?
The way Floetry talks, especially the way she moans on "Getting Late"

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
A child crying, only because i love kids so much

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Stripping

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Anything that comes on that show The Worst Dirtiest Jobs" or something like that

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"I love you" "Your heart is healed" "Your family always knew how much you loved them"

Still I Cry

A lonely tear on a cheek void with space
A broken heart trying desperately to replace
A soul ablaze, consumed by the oppression of anger
A lonely being, to its ownself a stranger
Kiss me softly and tell me that I will be ok
Tell me that the sun will shine and that my tears will be dried by each pleasant ray
That the fire will dim quenched by the rapids of rapturous waters
That my perception will change and times won't seem harder
Tell me you love me
Tell me I make you whole
Say that there is no one above me
Say that I am the only one you will console
I need you right now
I'll need you always
You make me better somehow
Your smile still brightens my days
Reassure my heart
Induce my mind
Just tell me that all things get better in time



Copyright © 2006 Domonique Murdock

Akilah

An intimate kiss, this familiar touch
I'll squeeze her body, because I love her so much
Her eyes will pierce, they will search and prod
But I won't mind this act , she is my gift from God
I've received loves bounty, I'm embracing its advent
For all the love I have given, this treasure has been sent
Written on silk,a letter of advice
Be nice
Take care of the gift that I have bestowed unto you
Because as the your bodies will wither, this love will always remain true
Like you she is created in my image, love her as u love me
And I promise u that this love will last for an eternity
I will keep you close, and your hearts intertwined
Adore my gift to you, make sure her concern is the first thing on your mind
My son I know your heart, and the man I have made you to be
But I also know your weaknesses and I have faith that in that this love u will succeed
So I'll fold this note, put it in my heart because this is one that I should not discard
And I'll review its message later when the times becomes hard
But for now I'll enjoy her kiss, its intimacy is sweet
An intimate retreat
To a repeat
To a place in my mind, where this has existed
But now I understand that it was a point in time, that my father gave me to under the listed
Title of, "A reward to my son"
So this is the sum, of the previous chapters
A rapturous soul
Now an assuasive whole
With the love of Akilah
The nights are calm, and the days carry a gentle breeze
I'll smile, blessed child of the lord with his all mighty guarantee



Copyright © 2006 Domonique Murdock